My life came shattering down around me ...

Have you ever heard anyone say that before? No? How about this one.

"2012 turned our lives upside down and inside out." A quote from my friend Cindy's blog who lost her 4 year old to cancer. 

or this one

" I rapidly began to lose my sense of security." Cari Crookston on her blog post titled Faith, Fear and The Free Clinic. http://www.thecrookstons.com/?p=2104

Ever heard anything like that? I'm curious what would go through your mind when you hear someone say something like that. In my own completely non professional opinion I think one of three things happens when you hear that. One, you admit to yourself that you don't know what that feels like. Two, you understand. Life has really hard days and hard moments but you have a testimony of our Savior and you believe if the person just reads and prays then all will be well. Or three, you feel deep down inside for this person. You not only feel heartbroken for them but you also feel their pain. And you feel it because you have been there before. Because you know what it means when they say "My life came shattering down around me." And you cry for them. You know that the words "shattering" or "upside down and inside out" or "lose my sense of security" all mean vulnerable. And other people use the word vulnerable with absolutely no understanding of how deep it cuts and how bad it really hurts. And some will tell you that it's okay, you'll be a better person for going through this. Those cliche comments by the way, are about the worst thing in the world you can say to someone whose life just came shattering down around them. But now, almost a year from when my life came shattering down around me I think I know what people mean when they say I'll be better for having to have gone through "that". Follow along as I try my best to explain, as best I know how, what I think they might mean. 

Picture a person, yourself, with a bubble around you. A clear but hard and fragile bubble. And everywhere you go this bubble goes. In fact, it's just a part of you. You don't even know it's there. You are so used to it being there you actually don't see it anymore. You see everything outside of it but you live life as if it weren't even there. But that's the funny thing because that hard fragile bubble is in fact your life. And you're so caught up with everything on the outside of it that you don't even see how that bubble encircles you day to day. Then one day, in a matter of a second, a phone call, a knock on your door, a doctors report, what ever it may be that bubble shatters and is literally sitting on the ground at your feet in thousands of pieces. There you stand, alone, afraid and so very very vulnerable. While you stand there, with your life in shambles around your feet the rest of the world continues to live with their bubble still untouched around them. 

What do you do now? You can't go to sleep and not wake up the next day. As wonderful as that truly sounds the reality is sure as the sun will rise so will you. There is nothing to do but rebuild your bubble. And slowly, so slowly it hurts you glue that fragile bubble back up around you. And in the process you leave all the pieces that don't matter on the ground. There are some things that simply have no place in this new, protected, tender bubble and leaving them on the ground is where they best belong. So here you are, with your life built up around you again but everything about the bubble is different. It's not clear like so many other people's. No, it's patched up and glued together and looks like a patch work quilt. But the beauty of this new bubble is that you cherish it, you value it because YOU BUILT IT! And now when you get up and face each day you no longer look past the clear bubble at the rest of world. You see the pieces that matter most that make up your very own life. And although I don't think that makes us better people for going through "that", I do think it makes us real and I do think it forever changes us.

I cry as I think of anyone who is currently standing with their life at their feet. I pray that as you begin to rebuild your bubble you may do so with the warmth of our Heavenly Fathers love and the knowledge of our Saviors sincere understanding for your situation.